The Douglas News…March 10, 2009
”Serving our community when we have Time”
News Flash, just in, a roving Douglas Broadcasting Company News reporter has sighted a wave of Alien Space ship headed toward Douglas over lake Michigan. Could this be an advance alien space fleet, until today folks, there has been just one ship terrorizing Douglas, Michigan, and just imagine the devastation that six saucers could do. Just today alone, untold numbers of local citizens were vaporized in downtown, the SS Keewatin is a charred out oil drum only good for a rib roast. Where are they headed, who will become diffused matter or something unsubstantial or transitory never to be materialized again in human form? The lake is still too frozen for the Douglas Navy to put up any fight, let’s hope that the Douglas Air Force or Artillery can put a good defense.
We are reporting live from our office hidden deep underground in our Alien bomb proof shelter underneath the Old Root Beer Barrel, where we have a established a connection and will continue to bring you live updates, casualty figures, firefighting and defense developments and the like as they become available to us.
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