The Douglas News…March 11, 2009
”Serving our community when we have Time”
Seems the smoke has cleared for the moment, we have ventured out of our Alien Proof Bomb Shelter underneath the Old Root beer Barrel. The devastation is mind-boggling. You can’t imagine what ruin those ugly smelly beings from the blackness that surround our planet have caused. The burned out blackened scars of the Douglas Train Station, skeletal girders are all that’s left of the once ornate art deco building born out of long forgotten stimulus package. Melted Steam engines are frozen to the tracks that once took the minions of Douglas to the four corners of the earth.
When you look downtown all you see is the hallowed out extinction of storefronts and the nearly complete obliteration of apartments that once housed a vibrant community full of life, gone are the songs and sounds of love, the sounds of young men serenading their women underneath balconies, the sights of confetti thrown during parades.
Is there hope for future generations of Douglian’s, this reporter thinks so, The Douglas Army has just started to take up defensive positions in some of the bombed out homes, farms and churches.
We have seen them in small groups going through our valiant village; there is no fear in their eyes, no dread or fright in their souls, no panic in their step. G-d Bless them and may we all live to take the fight spaceward.
The Douglas Broadcasting Company is reporting from the a subterranean Alien bomb proof shelter deep underground underneath the Old Root Beer Barrel where we have a established a live connection and will continue to bring you live updates, casualty figures, firefighting and defense developments and the like as they become available to us.
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